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Erotic Adventures

My booty is a beast!

10th March 2011

I like big booty and I cannot lie! So goes the song but it seems that women are also now convinced as to the merits of a large derriere. Hot on the heels of the many stories of women self injecting silicon into their rear in order to get a J-Lo style butt has been followed by the release of a swimming costume that enhances the ass... deliberately. What happened to women asking “Does my bum look big in this?”

This new one piece swimming costume is called ‘The Booty Suit’ (clever pun on ‘booty’ and ‘beauty’ don’t you think?) and is available for thirty two quid over the internet. It is being manufactured by Zoggs if you’re interested and already googling to find the product. Apparently the product works because it features a tight layer of mesh which lifts and supports the booty. The product will “help a growing army of girls who want to be as curvy as singer J-Lo” as one newspaper commentator put it. A John Lewis spokesperson said “We think it will be a big hit this summer”. Well, anything that stops women risking life, limb and behind by injecting silicone in pure gel form has gotta be a good thing but what happened to wanted a small, pert, sexy but? The times they are a changing! I see myself in Dorothy Perkins, girlfriend trying on jeans. “Does my bum look big in this” she asks. “Yes!” I yell triumphantly knowing that this time honesty is indeed the best policy.

It’s all a bit unfair on men though isn’t it, this game of artifice that women play? Think about it. You go out on a date with a girl. She’s already wearing make-up which disguises her real features; she may be wearing one of those new bodysuits which narrow the waist, a push up bra to elevate and present the breasts, a booty enhancing pair of undercrackers and stiletto heels to make her appear four inches taller than she actually is... You have no idea what you are taking home at the end of the night! The old joke about glass eyes and wigs comes to mind...

At least if you peruse our online gallery you have the chance to see many of the girls in all their glory before you decide to take them out on a date. These beautiful, busty escorts will make your dreams come true, and no fakery is allowed, either in photographs or in the flesh!

So, what about us men? What products are there out there to help us to give the right impression, to show that we are hunky and virile and I don’t mean Viagra! There must be something? Oh yes, it’s called beer...