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We can rebuild you...

3rd March 2011

I read this weekend about ‘spray on skin’ to be used on the battlefield. Apparently boffins have found a way to repair skin tissue using an old Hewlett Packard inkjet cartridge and some super glue. No, I’m only joking, about the super glue, though in fact inkjet technology is part of the solution apparently. Basically it goes like this. Following a computer scan of the injury a ‘printer cartridge’ style device containing the basic cellular matter of skin and other needed proteins applies the mixture to the wound. These cells build up over the wound providing a battlefield repair which can be looked at again later.

This is bang smack straight in the middle of Bionic man territory don’t you think? For the older ones amongst us there was a series in the seventies called ‘The Six Million Dollar Man’. In the programme Lee Majors played an astronaut called Steve Austin who is very badly injured in a crash. He loses his legs, an arm and an eye but scientists rebuild him – “we have the technology, we can rebuild him”.

With his new found speed, strength and twenty times telescopic eyesight he fights all sorts of baddies. He can run almost twice as fast as a cheetah, his eye has infra red functionality and his arm far surpasses average human strength. He always prevails over the enemy, despite the odds, because of his real superpowers. This is no Superman, Batman or Spider Man – Steve Austin is flesh, blood and machine blended into the ultimate fighter.

The idea of an unstoppable soldier is one that is being pursued by the West with its high tech arms industries and a population that reacts strongly to even individual casualties in a war zone. Body armour, computer targeting, night vision... the pursuit of domination of a battlefield moves on apace.

In fiction the idea of an unstoppable, unbeatable warrior has been used relentlessly. In the movies we have seen Kurt Russell in Soldier, Will Smith in iRobot, Dolph Lundgren in Universal Soldier and of course the daddy of all bionic/android/cyborg characters, Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator series. It’s a terrifying prospect – imagine being confronted by a robot warrior. Could you reason with it, ask for mercy or compassion, could you reason with it and hope that justice will prevail?  Personally I think it would be better just to get the hell out of there.

I do see one area though where bionic technology would be an absolute boon, the female human being. Just imagine the possibilities! Headache free evenings! Not having to go to the cinema to catch Matthew McConaughey in his latest stinker of a rom-com.  Bionic breasts! The mind boggles though I know exactly what any female reader is thinking and I tell you right now I’m not having it lopped off and replaced with a bionic one, no matter how good an orgasmatron it might be! Bionic English Escorts? Heaven!